Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don’t have film.

A day without sunshine is like…night.

On the other hand, you have different fingers.

Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.

When the chips are down, the buffalo is empty.

Seen it all, done it all, can’t remember most of it.

Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don’t.

I feel like I’m diagonally parked in a parallel universe.

You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted then used against you.

I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be without sponges.

Honk if you love peace and quiet.

Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how it remains so popular?

Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.

It is hard to understand how a cemetery raised its burial cost and blamed it on the cost of living.

The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there’s a 90% probability you’ll get it wrong.

It is said that if you line up all the cars in the world end to end, someone would be stupid enough to try and pass them.

You can’t have everything…where would you put it?

Latest survey shows that 3 out of 4 people make up 75% of the world’s population.

The things that come to those who wait are usually the things left by those who got there first.

A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.

It was recently discovered that research causes cancer in rats.

I wished the buck stopped here, as I could use a few.

I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

By Joyce T. Povlacs
Teaching and Learning Center, University of Nebraska-Lincoln

• "I like a teacher who gives you something to take home to think about besides homework." -- Edith Ann, [Lily Tomlin]

• "You teach best what you most need to learn." -- Richard David Bach

• A mind once stretched by a new idea never regains its original dimensions.
  - Anonymous

• A professor is one who talks in someone else's sleep.
  - Anonymous

• A university is what a college becomes when the faculty loses interest in students.
  - John Ciardi

• A university professor set an examination question in which he asked what is the difference between ignorance and apathy. The professor had to give an A+ to a student who answered: I don't know and I don't care.
  - Richard Pratt, Pacific Computer Weekly, 20 July 1990

• "Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils." -- (Louis) Hector Berlioz

• Academy: A modern school where football is taught.
  - Ambrose Bierce (1842-1914) - The Devil's Dictionary, 1911

• An expert is a man who has made all the mistakes which can be made, in a narrow field.
  - Niels Bohr (1885-1962)

• Education ... has produced a vast population able to read but unable to distinguish what is worth reading.
  - G. M. Trevelyan

• Education is a method whereby one acquires a higher grade of prejudices.
  - Laurence J. Peter

• An expert is one who knows more and more about less and less.
  - Nicholas Murray Butler

• Education is a progressive discovery of our own ignorance.
  - Will Durant

• Education is what remains after one has forgotten everything he learned in school.
  - Albert Einstein (1879-1955)

• Experience is a good school, but the fees are high.
  - Heinrich Heine

• Experience is a great advantage. The problem is that when you get the experience, you're too damned old to do anything about it.
  - Jimmy Connors

• Experience is not what happens to you. It is what you do with what happens to you.
  - Aldous Huxley

• "Who dares to teach must never cease to learn."
  -- John Cotton Dana

• "A teacher affects eternity; he can never tell where his influence stops."
  -- Henry Brooks Adams

• "What we want is to see the child in pursuit of knowledge, and not knowledge in pursuit of the child."
  --George Bernard Shaw

• "Good teachers are those who know how little they know. Bad teachers are those who think they know more than they don't know."
  -- R. Verdi

• "Learning is what most adults will do for a living in the 21st century."
  -- Perelman

• "Imagination is more important than knowledge. Knowledge is limited. Imagination encircles the world."
  -- Albert Einstein

• "I have never let my schooling interfere with my education."
  -- Mark Twain

• "Education is not the answer to the question. Education is the means to the answer to all questions."
  -- William Allin

• "Experience is a hard teacher because she gives the test first, the lesson afterward."
  -- Vernon Law

• "I may have said the same thing before... But my explanation, I am sure, will always be different."
  -- Oscar Wilde

• "Anyone can steer the ship when the sea is calm."
  -- Publilius Syrus

• "The main part of intellectual education is not the acquisition of facts but learning how to make facts live."
  -- Oliver Wendell Holmes

• "Formal education will make you a living; self-education will make you a fortune."
  -- Jim Rohn

• "Education is that which discloses to the wise and disguises from the foolish their lack of understanding."
  -- Ambrose Bierce

• "Getting things done is not always what is most important. There is value in allowing others to learn, even if the task is not accomplished as quickly, efficiently or effectively."
  -- R.D. Clyde

• "Education costs money, but then so does ignorance."
  -- Sir Claus Moser

• "In large states public education will always be mediocre, for the same reason that in large kitchens the cooking is usually bad."
  -- Friedrich Nietzsche

• "The only person who is educated is the one who has learned how to learn and change." -- Carl Rogers

• "A liberally educated person meets new ideas with curiosity and fascination. An illiberally educated person meets new ideas with fear."
  -- James B. Stockdale

• "An educational system isn't worth a great deal if it teaches young people how to make a living but doesn't teach them how to make a life."
  -- Source Unknown

• "Education makes people easy to lead, but difficult to drive; easy to govern, but impossible to enslave."
  -- Henry Peter Broughan

• "It is possible to store the mind with a million facts and still be entirely uneducated."
  -- Alec Bourne, A Doctor's Creed

• "It is important that students bring a certain ragamuffin, barefoot, irreverence to their studies; they are not here to worship what is known, but to question it."
  -- J. Bronowski, The Ascent of Man

• "The best teacher is the one who suggests rather than dogmatizes, and inspires his listener with the wish to teach himself."
  -- Edward Bulwer-Lytton

• "A teacher is one who makes himself progressively unnecessary."
  -- Thomas Carruthers

• "The authority of those who teach is often an obstacle to those who want to learn."
  -- Cicero

• "An education isn't how much you have committed to memory, or even how much you know. It's being able to differentiate between what you know and what you don't."
  -- Anatole France

• "I cannot teach anybody anything, I can only make them think."
  -- Socrates

• Teachers open the door, but you must enter by yourself."
  -- Chinese Proverb

• "The task of the modern educator is not to cut down jungles, but to irrigate deserts."
  -- C. S. Lewis

• "Education would be so much more effective if its purpose were to ensure that by the time they leave school every boy and girl should know how much they don't know, and be imbued with a lifelong desire to know it."
  -- Sir William Haley

• "I am beginning to suspect all elaborate and special systems of education. They seem to me to be built up on the supposition that every child is a kind of idiot who must be taught to think."
  -- Anne Sullivan

• "Education's purpose is to replace an empty mind with an open one."
  -- Malcolm Forbes -

Clean School Jokes

Back to School

Summer vacation was over and Little Johnny returned back to school.

Only two days later his teacher phoned his mother to tell her that he was misbehaving.

"Wait a minute," she said. "I had Johnny with me for three months and I never called you once when he misbehaved!"

Physics Teacher: "Isaac Newton was sitting under a tree when an apple fell on his head and he discovered gravity. Isn't that wonderful?"

Student: "Yes sir, if he had been sitting in class looking at books like us, he wouldn't have discovered anything."

"If there are any idiots in the room, will they please stand up" said the sarcastic teacher.

After a long silence, one freshman rose to his feet.

"Now then mister, why do you consider yourself an idiot?" enquired the teacher with a sneer.

"Well, actually I don't," said the student, "but I hate to see you standing up there all by yourself."

A little girl came home from school and said to her mother, "Mommy, today in school I was punished for something that I didn't do."

The mother exclaimed, "But that's terrible! I'm going to have a talk with your teacher about this ... by the way, what was it that you didn't do?"

The little girl replied, "My homework."

The Benefits of Fasting

by Paul Martin

Sister Jane Marie Luecke is professor  of English at Oklahoma State University, Stillwater. Mr. Martin is owner of a marketing/public relations firm in the Chicago suburb of Riverside. This article appeared in the Christian Century March 30, 1977, p. 298.

In the spring of 1957 I was managing the airport in Point Barrow, Alaska, the main supply site and a scene of heavy air traffic during the construction of the Distant Early Warning Line radar stations along Alaska’s northern coast. Working 50 to 60 hours a week, I hadn’t taken a day off for nearly a year and was scraping the bottom of the energy barrel. Overweight, irritable, tired all the time and feeling much older than my 34 years, I decided that a vacation was a necessity. Not just any vacation, however. I went to a health resort near Escondido, California, and fasted for two weeks under the direction of a physician. I drank as much water as needed but ate nothing at all for 14 days.

I

Before this I had tried a few short fasts of three or four days on my own but had never gone longer than that with only water. James McEachen had supervised many fasts and understood what to look for. He told me to take no exercise but simply to rest and sunbathe during the day and to drink water whenever I was thirsty. About the fifth day without food I developed a sore throat, my back began to ache and my teeth hurt. Dr. McEachen explained that this was a healing crisis: my body was cleansing itself of toxic substances. About the tenth day these symptoms cleared up.

With McEachen’s guidance I broke the fast on the 14th day. This was a crucial point. A fast has to be ended properly and carefully or there can be painful and dangerous complications. I was given small amounts of orange juice every three hours for two days and then allowed to eat whole fruit for another two days. After this I was given more substantial food on a regular meal time schedule. I stayed there for a week after I resumed eating and then returned to my job in Point Barrow feeling 1,000 per cent better than when I left.

I

- در طبیعت و اخلاق انسانی هیچ ضعف وانحرافی نیست كه با تعلیم مناسب اصلاح نشود.

- دلهایی كه روی آن كلمه تقوی و محبت نوشته شده به هر جایی كه بخواهند پرواز می كنند و كائنات در مقابل آنها سرتعظیم فرود می آورند.

- از دانش آموزی كه فكر روشن دارد، ناامید مشو.

- اطفال بیشتر به دستور و سرمشق محتاجند تا انتقاد و عیبجویی.

- معلم پرورنده ی روان است و پدر و مادر پروش دهنده جان.

- علم بزرگترین هدیه ای است كه مردم نیكوكار می توانند به گدایان و بینوایان بدهند.

- آن كه از دست روزگار به خشم می آید هر چه آموخته بیهوده بوده است.

- آینده ی كودكان بسته به تربیت آنهاست.

- قرض پدر و مادر به فرزندان علم و ثروت نیست، تربیت و اخلاق است.

- آموزش و پرورش بدون تجربه بی فایده است.

- بهترین زمان برای تربیت اراده ، ایام جوانی است.

- استعداد چیزی است كه در جوانی پیدا می شود، اگر آن را تربیت كردید و درصدد تقویت آن بر آمدید مانند بذری كه در مزرعه خوب كاشته شده باشد، محصول خواهد داد و اگر آن را به حال خود گذاشتید و آن را تربیت نكردید مانند تخمی كه در زمین شوره زار افتاده باشد ، از بین می رود و محصول نمی دهد.

- اساس آموزش و پرورش ساختن ماشین نیست، بلكه ساختن انسان است.

- اگر امروز حتی یك كلمه از دیروز بیشتر بدانید مسلماً شخص دیگری هستید.

- آموزش و پرورش البته مهم است ، ولی زندگی كردن خیلی از آن مهمتر است . بنابراین هدف آموزش و پرورش صحیح باید در مرحله اول بهبودی وضع زندگی باشد.

- تربیت ، علم زندگی و هنر خوب زیستن است.

- اگر به بچه كمی محبت نشان بدهید، وی صد چندان به شما مهر خواهد ورزید.

- فكر ساخته ی تعلیم و تربیتی است كه تا امروزه گرفته ایم ، برای فكر بهتر باید از فردا تعلیم و تربیت بهتری بگیریم .

-  اگر بزرگان ، خویش را خوب تربیت كنند ، كودكان خوب بزرگ می شوند.

- تعلیم و تربیت علم است و معلمی هنر .

- اگر در خانواده ، با محبت محاكمه شویم در جامعه با خفت مجازات نمی شویم .

- قبل از آن كه كودك را كتك بزنید یقین حاصل كنید كه خود سبب خطای او نبوده اید.

- كسی كه از ادب و تربیت پدر بهره ندارد روزگار او را تربیت خواهد كرد .

- بهتر است پدر و مادر را مسبب مسائل و مشكلات خود ندانید . آنها آنچه می دانستند در حق شما انجام دادند ، ناامیدی شما ناشی از این است كه تصور می كردید آنها انسان های كاملی هستند .

- دشواری های خود را با فرزندانتان در میان بگذارید و آنها را از كوچكی متعهد و مسئول بار بیاورید.

- تعلیم و تربیت باید در جهت انسان سازی باشد نه پرورش انسان نماهای تحصیل كرده .

- بكوشید فرزندانتان را از كودكی با واقعیات آشنا نمایید و یك مرتبه و بی تجربه و ناآگاه در صحنه اجتماع ، آنها را رها نكنید

- به جای دستوردادن ، با بچه ها ارتباط قلبی برقرار كنید . خودتان را تا سطح آنها پایین بیاورید ، خود را به جا و در سن آنها تصور كنید ، به آنها گوش كنید و به احساساتشان احترام بگذارید .

-  مربیان باید از گفتارهای سرزنش آمیز، ترساندن ، تهدید ، رشوه دادن ، مسخره كردن و پندهای دستوری تا آنجا كه ممكن است پرهیز نمایند .

- به بچه ها بیاموزید بین عشق و نومیدی ، عشق را انتخاب كنند ، چون از دست دادن عشق به منزله از دست دادن زندگی  است .

- یادگیری روندی دلخواه و داوطلبانه است .

- بچه ها بیشتر از روی الگو و نمونه های عملی ، مطالب را فرا می گیرند تا از طریق كتاب و قلم .

- با مشاهده ، دیدن ، انتخاب كردن و با تمرین می توان دانش آموخت .

- ما از فرزندان خود انتظار داریم انسان های مسئول ، متوجه ، متعهد و پرمهری باشند در حالی كه نمونه های صحیحی در اختیار آنها قرار نمی دهیم . كودكان آنچه می بینند یاد می گیرند و به آن عمل می كنند .

- بچه ها از كودكی باید به ارزش و شخصیت خود پی ببرند و یاد بگیرند كه به خود احترام بگذارند.

- به فرزندان خود بیاموزید كه در زندگی فرصت های بی شماری در اختیار دارند . البته هنگامی این باور را می پذیرند كه فرصتی در اختیار آنها گذاشته شود .

-  كوشش كنید حس تعاون و همكاری و احساس مسئولیت را از كودكی در فرزندانتان تقویت كنید.

- بعد از تنبیه كردن بچه ها، آنها را در آغوش بگیرید و نوازششان كنید.

- به بچه ها بگویید كه خیلی فوق العاده اند و به آنها اعتماد دارید.

-  انسان شدیداً نیازمند به تربیت و اصلاح خویش است ، همان گونه كه كشتزار تشنه آب باران است.

- به فرزندان خود هنر و تقوی بیاموزید، چون آنها زنده نگه دارنده ی نام هستند.

- بهترین میراثی كه پدران برای فرزندان خود می گذارند، تربیت نیكو است .

-  یتیم آن نیست كه پدرش مرده باشد ، بلكه آن است كه از علم و ادب بی بهره باشد .

-  تربیت زیباترین چیزی است كه مردان بزرگ ذخیره می كنند.

-  كودكان به نمونه و سرمشق بیش از انتقاد نیازمندند.

-  نگذارید بچه ها گریه كنند زیرا باران هم غنچه را ضایع می كند.

- آنچه را كه فرزند در توان داشته و انجام داده از او بپذیر و از او كارهای طاقت فرسا مخواه.

- وقتی خونسردی خودتان را از دست می دهید – به خصوص در مورد فرزندان– فوراً عذر خواهی كنید.

- یادگرفتن در كودكی مانند نقش روی سنگ ، ثابت و راسخ می ماند.

-  دوست آن است كه در نبودن انسان ، حق دوستی را رعایت كند .

-  غریب كسی است كه دوست نداشته باشد .

- زندگی صحنه تلاش و بالندگی و لحظه های آن چون رودی در گذر است ، رودی مواج كه در تلاطمش ، انسانها ساخته می شوند ، پس تا دمی باقی است از لحظات دیگران عبرت بگیریم :

- كودكان خود را برای زمانی غیر از روزگار خویش پرورش دهید ، چراكه آنان در روزگاری كه با دوران شما متفاوت است به وجود آمده اند . ( امام علی علیه السلام (

- بهترین ارثی كه پدران می توانند به فرزندان خویش بدهند ادب و تربیت صحیح است . ( حضرت علی علیه السلام (

- مردی از فرزند خود به حضرت امیر المومنین (ع ) شكایت كرد . حضرت فرمود : فرزندت را نزن ، بلكه برای ادب كردنش ، با او قهر كن ، اما مراقب باش ، قهركردن تو با چندان طول نكشد و هر چه زودتربا او آشتی نما . ( حضرت علی علیه السلام)

- پدر در ولایتی كه به فرزند دارد مسئول است كه طفل را مؤدب و با اخلاق پسندیده پرورش دهد و او را به پرستش خداوند بزرگ راهنمایی نماید .

(امام سجاد علیه السلام)

- دربرنامه ی درسی نباید چیزی گنجانده شود ، مگر اینكه در آینده به كار آید . ( تافلر)

 -آنچه مدرسه می تواند و باید در زمره ی خود بشناسد ، این است كه قدرت تفكر شاگردان را تكامل بخشد . ( دیوئی)

- فهمیدن ، همیشه بهتر از آموختن است . ( لوبون )

- هدف نهایی آموزش و پرورش ، آموختن طریقه صحیح استفاده از اوقات فراغت است . ( ارسطو)

- از طرز دعوای زن و شوهر ، به خوبی می توان فهمید كه میزان تربیت ، فهم و فرهنگ آنها  ، تا چه اندازه است . ( برنارد شاو)

- با تلقینات منفی ، روح ِ شكوفایی را در بچه خواهید كـُشت ، با عسل تعداد بیشتری مگس خواهید كشت تا با سركه . (بوسكالیا)

-   بدترین پاداش یك استاد ، این است كه شاگردانش تا ابد در حال شاگردی وی باقی مانند . ( نیچه )

 -تربیت كودك را باید بیست سال پیش از تولدش آغاز كرد . ( ناپلئون )

- تربیت پس از نان ، نخستین احتیاج بشر است  . (دالتون )

- در تربیت فرزند ، زیاد سختگیر نباش . باغبان ، درخت جوان را كه هنوز خوب ریشه ندوانیده ، به شدت تكان نمی دهد .

>> Some stars always shine,
>> Some stars never fade.
>> That's the star we’re celebrating,
>> The luminary of twenty-nine years.
>>
>> Christine Pugh is moving on,
>> Her time has come to pass.
>> She's heading to retirement,
>> No more days in class.
>>
>> Christine went into teaching
>> To make a difference in lots of lives.
>> Now she deserves our praises,
>> Academic-type high fives.
>>
>> Her classroom management was tops,
>> Her teaching style supreme.
>> Christine should have been published in Scholastic books,
>> She's truly on the beam.
>>
>> The gratitude her students express
>> Are marvels of grace and love.
>> Christine's legacy is crystal clear,
>> She'd always go the extra mile.
>>
>> Her life outside the classroom,
>> Always varied, always full.
>> Christine has it every way,Every push, every pull.
>>
>> With husband John, a life of love,
>> Two kids to just adore.
>> Chloe and Gareth,
>> Who could ask for anything more?
>>
>> But more is what she has,
>> Every single day.
>>
>> She's a model of consideration,
>> Kind-hearted, full of cheer.
>> If anybody wants to know,
>> Christine Pugh is just a dear.
>>
>> Lovely and unique,
>> Long lustrous hair.
>> Always dresses in top fashion,
>> Christine is truly rare.
>>
>> Her smile is just infectious,
>> A chronic sparkle in her eyes.
>> Christine, we'll really miss you,
>> All the girls and guys.
>>
>> So positive in your nature,
>> And nurturing in your ways.
>> You are a legend of the classroom,
>> Who never fails to amaze.
>> Now it's time to explore new paths,
>> Out in the world and ambling.
>> To have fun and new adventures,
>> And perhaps -- more time for shopping!
>>
>> Just know we wish you well,
>> In fact, you deserve the best.
>> As teachers go, and as people,
>> You're just better than the rest.
>>
>> With boundless warmth to match your own,
>> And gratitude for all your pluck,
>> Thank you, Christine, We’ll miss you.
>> And we wish you forever luck.
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During my first years as a speaker and author, the most important factor in my success was the wisdom and experience of my mentors. It would have taken years of research and experience to acquire all the minute details involved in the success I was seeking. Instead, I cut my learning time by at least one half through the guidance of my mentors. The late Cavett Roberts, the dean of professional speaking and founder of the National Speakers' Association, originated the quote, "O.P.E." (Other People's Experience). That's what the mentor-protégés relationship is based upon: other people's experience.

I've found that most people who have become successful in life and/or business are proud to share their knowledge and experience. If you find someone who can act as your mentor, it would be a wonderful experience for both of you. I now act as a mentor for several people. Having discussed mentorship with several friends who are also mentors, we have agreed that there are some tips on the mentor-protégé relationship that would be helpful to pass on. I have listed them in the hopes that you can make the most of one of the best resources available to you—a mentor!

1. As defined by Webster's, a mentor is an adviser, coach/teacher–not a partner or replacement for your active participation. Look upon your mentor as a source of inspiration and information, not a replacement for action.

2. Be very careful of your mentor's time. The quickest way to alienate a mentor is to be on the telephone, e-mail or in his or her office for repeated information and unimportant details. On the other hand, don't be afraid to ask what you may think is a dumb question. There are no dumb questions, only uninformed, unprepared people. If you have already covered the material or problem and you still have questions, make sure you aren't just being lazy. If you do need further clarification and help, then certainly contact your mentor.

3. When working with a mentor take careful notes so you don't have to go back for repeated information. Always take notes; they will help you in preparing intelligent, meaningful questions and in retaining the information.

4. If you are asking advice of a mentor—take it! Proteges, in their enthusiasm, often ask advice and then argue the point. Don't reinvent the wheel.

5. When you receive advice and suggestions from you mentor, report back on the results or action taken. Your mentor may see that you need a slight adjustment or correction. Small game- plan refinements can be extremely helpful. If you are proceeding correctly and all is well, you need to know that also. Reporting to your mentor will give you this knowledge.

Finally, once you have had a mentor, pass on the legacy. It is a wonderful and rewarding endeavor. One of the fastest ways to go from success to significance is to be a mentor to someone else!

21 Keys to a Happy Life

1.   Compliment three people everyday.

2.   Watch a sunrise.

3.   Be the first to say "Hello."

4.   Live beneath your means.

5.   Treat everyone as you want to be treated.

6.   Never give up on anybody; miracles happen.

7.   Forget the Jones’s.

8.   Remember someone’s name.

9.   Pray not for things, but for wisdom and courage.

10.                     Be tough-minded, but tender hearted.

11.                     Be kinder than you have to be.

12.                     Don’t forget that a person’s greatest emotional need is to feel appreciated.

13.                     Keep your promises.

14.                     Learn to show cheerfulness even when you don’t feel it.

15.                     Remember that overnight success usually takes 15 years.

16.                     Leave everything better than you found it.

17.                     Remember that winners do what losers don’t want to do.

18.                     When you arrive at your job in the morning, let the first thing you say brighten everyone’s day.

19.                     Don’t rain on other people’s parades.

20.                     Don’t waste an opportunity to tell someone you love them.

21.                     Keep some things to yourself and don’t promote havoc by backstabbing people you love.

Truths For Living

William Arthur Ward

The more generous we are,
        the more joyous we become.

The more cooperative we are,
        the more valuable we become.

The more enthusiastic we are,
        the more productive we become.

The more serving we are,
        the more prosperous we become.

The more outgoing we are,
        the more helpful we become.

The more curious we are,
        the more creative we become.

The more patient we are,
        the more understanding we become.

The more persistent we are,
        the more successful we become.

1. Proverbs
2. first day of class
3. ُEducation
4. Jokes
5. Ramadan
7. to all retirees
9. Happy life
10. 4giveness
11. feel unhappy
12. Remember
13. Discuss
14. Life
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